Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't deserve a penis
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
