I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
