Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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