Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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