Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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