He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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