when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
