I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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