So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
