my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
