I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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