yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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