i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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