Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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