Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
