last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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