i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I AM VODKA MAN
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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