You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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