My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
