As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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