What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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