I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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