She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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