so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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