Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
