people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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