lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
