They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
