Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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