She said her name was "party"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
we're so committed to being not committed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
