I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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