you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
