hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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