So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
