I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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