I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
