i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
