Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
