Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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