On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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