i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
