shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
