At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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