i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
