i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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