I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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