Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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