Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
