It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
