Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
